The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This is my gift to your gina
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
