You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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