I wish I could teleport
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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