Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
