so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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