its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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