Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
are you so shy because you have an std?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
