we have pet lesbian snakes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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