remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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