My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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