if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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