She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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