I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize