Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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