he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
