sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
