Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it glows. i had to have it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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