my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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