Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
sex in a hospital.. check
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
