I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
