Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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