i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
They took my balls.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
