2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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