So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
