He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sext me about skeletons
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
