Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
