i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
And then he peed in my hair
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