I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
