Apparently you make a good broom.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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