sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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