she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
