my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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