Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
