You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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