i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
