I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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