Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
