i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
