why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
