you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
