i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
