Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
