So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
