i just wanna soil my oats bro
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
