laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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