Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
