Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
