Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
