Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
