like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My pussy is not your playground.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Crop dusting thru forever 21
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
