I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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