Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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