Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
