I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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