i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
