do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
