He felt like a one man threesome
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Mom said you looked used
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
