I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
