uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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