went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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