she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
