that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
