good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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