She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
