What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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