Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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