People with herpes should wear stickers.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
