fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
